The Natural law of Change

A couple of years watching successful people strive to become even more successful, I’ve noticed one constant truth: people will only change if they believe it serves their own best interests, as defined by their own values.

That may sound cynical, but it isn’t. I’m not saying selfishness is the only motive in life. Every day, people perform acts of kindness with no expectation of reward. But when self‑volition is removed and outside forces come into play, this natural law takes over.

If I want you to do something, I have to show you how it benefits you – either immediately or somewhere down the road. Every choice, big or small, is a risk‑reward calculation. And the bottom‑line question is always: “What’s in it for me?”

We don’t need to apologize for this. It’s simply how the world works. It’s the force that turns rivals into allies, not because they suddenly become saints, but because cooperation is the only way each side gets what it wants. You see it in politics when bitter opponents support the same bill because different parts of it serve their constituencies.

It’s the same force that makes people swallow their pride and admit they were wrong. As painful as that can be, they’ll do it if it’s the only way to move forward. It’s why someone might turn down a higher‑paying job if they sense it won’t make them happier. In the end, happiness outweighs money.

Without it, convincing successful people to change would be impossible. Success reinforces itself – past victories convince them the future will be just as bright. Arrogance grows like a muscle, and a protective shell whispers, “You’re right. Everyone else is wrong.”

That’s why telling someone “Everyone hates the way you act” rarely works. They don’t care. They assume everyone else is confused. But even the biggest ego has a hot button, and that button is self‑interest. The art lies in finding it.

Fortunately, successful people make it easy. Press them to identify their motives and it usually boils down to four things: money, power, status, and popularity. These are the standard payoffs of success. We claw for raises (money), promotions (power), bigger titles (status), and the approval of others (popularity). The hot button differs for each person, and it changes over time, but it always comes back to self‑interest.

Digested read from What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith